I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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