There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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