Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
