shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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