when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
