it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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