We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
