I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
