toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
His nipple licking is glorious
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