just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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