i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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