I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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