Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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