thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
