i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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