I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
