Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
