They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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