I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
