before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
