Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
