totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
