you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
