sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
