do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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