Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
They have beer where we have blood.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
