Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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