and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
