Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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