no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
