We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The power of my boobs compel you
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
