we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
