I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
