So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
