8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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