But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
