I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
