She's JV to your varsity
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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