P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she peed on how many people?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
