honey bunches of taint.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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