how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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