I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh god it's open bar.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
