if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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