I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
