it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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