Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
