so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
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MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS