Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas

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  (251): I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas http://tfl.nu/8b13
  Replies (10) Good night (897) Bad night (3803)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though

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  (609): you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though http://tfl.nu/8e43
  Replies (10) Good night (1676) Bad night (4453)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.

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  (303): He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool. http://tfl.nu/8q12
  Replies (14) Good night (7242) Bad night (1942)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping

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  (216): Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping http://tfl.nu/0qth
  Replies (9) Good night (978) Bad night (3850)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

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  (480): oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund http://tfl.nu/xo4q
  Replies (6) Good night (3006) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

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  (612): He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume (612): we need ur ladder http://tfl.nu/n9qh
  Replies (19) Good night (7417) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

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  (615): A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning. http://tfl.nu/fh1x
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (821)
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  (805): View more from California

  Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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  (805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03
  Replies (7) Good night (691) Bad night (1278)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?

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  (937): She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity? http://tfl.nu/jd0w
  Replies (10) Good night (2768) Bad night (661)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thats for me to know and you to find out.

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  (519): Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning (416): Thats for me to know and you to find out. http://tfl.nu/ors0
  Replies (1) Good night (1274) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

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  (614): And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice" http://tfl.nu/xdkd
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (553)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?

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  (780): Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office? http://tfl.nu/0lyw
  Replies (6) Good night (434) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (747): View more from California

  I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you

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  (747): I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you http://tfl.nu/r95i
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage

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  (440): I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage http://tfl.nu/m9gb
  Replies (7) Good night (629) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.

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  (904): That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk. http://tfl.nu/4nud
  Replies (6) Good night (277) Bad night (557)

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