Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???