Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

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  (314): My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work. http://tfl.nu/vmme
  Replies (15) Good night (1093) Bad night (3441)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?

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  (540): Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift? http://tfl.nu/ixd3
  Replies (53) Good night (1770) Bad night (5733)
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  (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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  (925): I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows http://tfl.nu/02lq
  Replies (9) Good night (3977) Bad night (781)
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  (714): View more from California

  when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow

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  (714): when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow http://tfl.nu/3ljm
  Replies (14) Good night (859) Bad night (5383)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

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  (215): We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/3xa9
  Replies (9) Good night (2223) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

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  (617): There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic http://tfl.nu/g9j9
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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  (613): Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo http://tfl.nu/26vh
  Replies (10) Good night (2016) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.

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  (262): Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI. http://tfl.nu/aihj
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (1249)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took

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  (503): I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took http://tfl.nu/phka
  Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (474)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.

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  (850): He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable. http://tfl.nu/zo4w
  Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (985)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will

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  (205): I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will http://tfl.nu/rm9j
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.

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  (226): I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off. http://tfl.nu/fkr9
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm coming right back.

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  (601): Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell? (1-601): I'm coming right back. http://tfl.nu/the6
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

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  (613): Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!" http://tfl.nu/otim
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi

  (408): View more from California

  so I peed on it

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  (408): I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi (408): so I peed on it http://tfl.nu/hxc3
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (256)

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