Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

(214): View more from Texas

If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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(214): Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window. (214): If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day" http://tfl.nu/2bzp

Replies (14) Good night (4055) Bad night (561)
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(314): View more from Missouri

great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter

(1-314): View more from Missouri

at least I said it was good

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(314): great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter (1-314): at least I said it was good http://tfl.nu/h772

Replies (25) Good night (5553) Bad night (1370)
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(661): View more from California

Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?

(1-661): View more from California

What the hell did you do last night?!

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(661): Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy? (1-661): What the hell did you do last night?! http://tfl.nu/xxav

Replies (48) Good night (821) Bad night (9888)
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(917): View more from New York City

Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something

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(917): Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something http://tfl.nu/o4s2

Replies (7) Good night (3909) Bad night (1150)
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(773): View more from Illinois

We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love

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(773): We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/dxz2

Replies (17) Good night (8467) Bad night (985)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

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(303): You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool. http://tfl.nu/uc3l

Replies (12) Good night (1976) Bad night (1493)
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(309): View more from Illinois

they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

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(309): they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy. http://tfl.nu/yj0s

Replies (5) Good night (4022) Bad night (1456)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

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(740): Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed? http://tfl.nu/4keg

Replies (12) Good night (2842) Bad night (1016)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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(248): We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens http://tfl.nu/5a7g

Replies (18) Good night (2120) Bad night (742)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?

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(848): You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself? http://tfl.nu/hc7l

Replies (5) Good night (1649) Bad night (899)
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(703): View more from Virginia

After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"

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(703): After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken" http://tfl.nu/pqky

Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (1056)
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(602): View more from Arizona

But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.

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(602): But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at. http://tfl.nu/pftw

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (380)
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(205): View more from Alabama

i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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(205): i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets. http://tfl.nu/hykz

Replies (3) Good night (1121) Bad night (478)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That's right. I did.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That's right. I did.

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(403): That's right. I did. (403): You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. (403): That's right. I did. http://tfl.nu/55sv

Replies (5) Good night (309) Bad night (468)
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(206): View more from Washington

I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.

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(206): I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt. http://tfl.nu/fjy2

Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (677)

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