im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.