The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
