Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

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  (606): I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now. <3 Russia http://tfl.nu/k3de
  Replies (72) Good night (6438) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.

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  (845): just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever. http://tfl.nu/d1ay
  Replies (21) Good night (8660) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.

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  (484): Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd. http://tfl.nu/wjyh
  Replies (33) Good night (3618) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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  (928): She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon. http://tfl.nu/cf99
  Replies (31) Good night (8340) Bad night (2794) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.

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  (616): this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line. http://tfl.nu/kz2e
  Replies (12) Good night (5547) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.

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  (713): We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love. http://tfl.nu/9dmy
  Replies (37) Good night (4834) Bad night (2716) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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  (512): Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky. http://tfl.nu/on0b
  Replies (17) Good night (5542) Bad night (1375) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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  (303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x
  Replies (8) Good night (4145) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

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  (615): She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse. http://tfl.nu/chf5
  Replies (6) Good night (957) Bad night (2183) Order T-Shirt
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  (846): View more from

  he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.

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  (846): he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/15lw
  Replies (14) Good night (1546) Bad night (5036) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"

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  (309): She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat" http://tfl.nu/3rr9
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (2185) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  don't pay it forward

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced

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  (315): don't pay it forward (1-315): I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced http://tfl.nu/bffp
  Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"

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  (814): Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose" http://tfl.nu/62vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  And I might get them triple pierced after that

  (631): View more from New York

  Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors

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  (239): And I might get them triple pierced after that (631): Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors http://tfl.nu/vrzy
  Replies (13) Good night (978) Bad night (395)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.

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  (308): It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near. http://tfl.nu/2ey3
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (126) Order T-Shirt

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