Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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(541): View more from Oregon

If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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(716): View more from New York

I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(574): View more from Indiana

almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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(512): View more from Texas

He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter

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