Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2164) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9854) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/gemh
  Replies (15) Good night (1004) Bad night (5937)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem. http://tfl.nu/80or
  Replies (16) Good night (1150) Bad night (6155)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Just made gatorade. in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/v6f3
  Replies (19) Good night (3394) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (974) Bad night (2399)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs. http://tfl.nu/h7d3
  Replies (12) Good night (3739) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America. http://tfl.nu/1n6p
  Replies (17) Good night (5317) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough... http://tfl.nu/8n56
  Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (2552)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/fzjz
  Replies (10) Good night (837) Bad night (2346)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/hrea
  Replies (3) Good night (2552) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I want to break his glasses with my pelvis. http://tfl.nu/5x22
  Replies (10) Good night (1997) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass http://tfl.nu/wy91
  Replies (5) Good night (1509) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Cant promise that last part. I won't die though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots (1-410): Cant promise that last part. I won't die though http://tfl.nu/qr7s
  Replies (1) Good night (1178) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween http://tfl.nu/vg53
  Replies (6) Good night (520) Bad night (268)

Randomize