Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.