I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
