4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
