Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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