So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
