I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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