I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
