Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
