Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
