Me. At least after what I've been through.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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