They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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