life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It was confusing and full of hummus
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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