I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
