two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
