if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
