make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
