i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
