did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
