You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
