I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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