you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
