dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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